# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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