It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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