He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
