I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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