hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
