I am in a vortex of obligation.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
