Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
as a side note pls kill me
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
