I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
