so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
