hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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