I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
