Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You had me at "let me see your balls"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
