Define "chronic" masturbator.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
