Duck Duck Cougar?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
