just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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