Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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