Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I will pee on everything he values.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
