i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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