Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
