he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
