Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
