he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
