I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
