I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
