To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
