tell your sister to shave her snatch
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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