um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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