u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
