I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
