he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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