ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
All the doctor said was why
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
