I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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