Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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