Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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