whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
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we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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