I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
