im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
