Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
