And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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