I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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