you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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