Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
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She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize