she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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