There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
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Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
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DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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