Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
