some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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