How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
