You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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