Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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