I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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