i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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