I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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