She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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