I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
