I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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