ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
