whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
