right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
