And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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