You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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