I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
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