I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
