i don't like sucking hair
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
