I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I can't turn off my feet"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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